and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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