No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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