Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
