we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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