so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
