so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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