Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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