White coat. Heels.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
