I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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