JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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