don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
