he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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