My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
