i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
