I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize