so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
