dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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