His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
