PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
