Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
