Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
