My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
