So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
