he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
