youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
