"it" just moved
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
