why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
