anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
