don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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