Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Text me some of your sweat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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