he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
