if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
