Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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