maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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