She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
