Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I need water and some morals
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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