If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
