YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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