Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
