I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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