he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
