Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
