i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
