My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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