ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
