none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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