if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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