when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
