ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
