I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
