Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
