Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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