Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
