Your tits are I can't wait for
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
